Alfred, Lord Tennyson (1809 - 1892)

Tears, Idle Tears


Tears, idle tears, I know not what they mean,
Tears from the depth of some divine despair
Rise in the heart, and gather to the eyes,
In looking on the happy Autumn-fields,
And thinking of the days that are no more.

Fresh as the first beam glittering on a sail,
That brings our friends up from the underworld,
Sad as the last which reddens over one
That sinks with all we love below the verge;
So sad, so fresh, the days that are no more.

Ah, sad and strange as in dark summer dawns
The earliest pipe of half-awakened birds
To dying ears, when unto dying eyes
The casement slowly grows a glimmering square;
So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.

Dear as remembered kisses after death,
And sweet as those by hopeless fance feigned
On lips that are for others; deep as love,
Deep as first love, and wild with all regret;
O Death in Life, the days that are no more!

Paul Laurence Dunbar (1872 - 1906)

We Wear The Mask

We wear the mask that grins and lies,

It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes—

This debt we pay to human guile;

With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,

And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be over-wise,

In counting all our tears and sighs?

Nay, let them only see us, while

We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries

To thee from tortured souls arise.

We sing, but oh the clay is vile

Beneath our feet, and long the mile;

But let the world dream otherwise,

We wear the mask!

Fighting A Battle

I should've seen this coming. It was there at the back of my mind. I was just too careless to care. Finally, it came today. My antibodies lost the battle to keep the flu virus away. I woke up today with a fever. The world literally spun on me. I was so dizzy i couldn't even stand straight. Or maybe at that time i was a lil' hungry. Both hands were already at 12 when i woke up. I was alone at home, sick and hungry. Who do i call? Eng Kien!! And indeed, being the kind-hearted person he is, he replied to my call of desperation. He brought me some buns and some panadol. The panadols really did some miraculous healing on me. After that, i started to pack and headed back to Ipoh. It was a sudden decision. I was thinking of coming back tomorrow, but after a few words of persuasion from my dad, i decided to come back today. It really is a relief to be back here. No pressure.. and most importantly, no more late nights cause there's nothing much to do here. Btw, SueLynn and gang will be coming to Ipoh tomorrow! Me and Fu-Yng gotta think of where to bring them to. But i reckon most of the places we bring them to will be eateries. Ipoh will not be called Ipoh if not for the food. So, gotta go sleep now. Tomorrow will be a long day. Furthermore, i'm still in a battle within myself. I can't be giving the advantage of sleeping late to my enemies. Die! ..you.. FLU you!

A Last Look At My Home - 204, Block F9

These were taken on the 17th of April, 2005. With Goo Lai Khuan's digi camera. This is a last look at my home here in Wangsa Maju. It is a flat on the first floor of a 5-storey high building. Its kinda messy, cause i haven't started on my packing yet. Will be doing it tomorrow! ^_^



As seen from the entrance. Sofa was given by our beloved neighbour, Mr. Leong. YookHwa's stuff are still around. Lam Chee Yan's new roommate's stuff are here too. On the right corner.




This is the so-called kitchen. The bathroom is on the left (couldn't see from the pic). The cabinet on the right is JiAun's. Then the basin with a spoilt pipe.




This is the small lil' pathway that we call balcony. I'm not even sure whether this can be passed as a balcony. But, what the hell.




The living room as seen from the kitchen. The TV is Fu-Yng's. Shoes are all scattered around below next to the sofa.




This is the girls' room. Fu-Yng and Lam Chee Yan's room. No bed, just matresses. That is Goo Lai Khuan lying there. Not Sarah! Oh yeah, sorry for exposing your room like this. Haha~ you wouldn't mind, will ya?




This is my corner. My computer table takes up most of the space. I have tonnes of stuff thrown around.




This is the other corner of my room. That's my roommate JiAun with his laptop. Yes, JiAun is the only one in the flat that has a bed.



Well, that's all i can show from my place here. Its not big, it doesn't have enough rooms, it stinks - the dumpster is just behind the balcony, and its messy. But, it is still my home. Well, that is until end of this month.

204, Block F9, Wangsa Maju

Its almost that time of the year. The time that i didn't expect to come so soon. Everything passed by even before i blinked my eyes. Its almost May. I've been a citizen of Wangsa Maju for a year already. A lot of things happened here. Good and bad, happy and sad. Been through disappointment, regret, frustration, anger.. and laughed at myself at the end of the day. Made friends more than enemies throughout the year (great achievement!!). Started to grow some affection for this lil' place called Wangsa Maju. Each and every corner of it brings back memories of things i've done and friends that i've made.

The first month in Wangsa Maju, i got to know a great friend, Chan Yi Wan. She was the one who actually took the time to bring us around. Show us the place where she called home two years earlier than us. She and her buddy, simply called "Motor", took us from home-BRJ-Desa-home. But sadly, "Motor" got stolen a month or two before she left for the States. After her, then came my collegemates. They were the ones that actually got me through college. Assignments, tutorials, lectures, outings, stay-overs and just plain onlining. A bunch of girls and two guys in a class. It sure was something. Something for me remember and cherish.



And then my housemates. Tammy Koo Fu-Yng, Lam Chee Yan and my roommate, Tan Ji Aun. I wouldn't say that they were the best housemates one can get. I have no one else to compare. But me staying together with them, was something i have no regrets for. I got to know Ji Aun only through Fu-Yng, and now, a year has passed. Though we don't talk much, i'm glad that he was my roommate. He didn't complained a word of my cleanliness (i would've complained the hell out of myself!!). He was considerate. He accompanied me through football nights. And he haven't introduced his girlfriend to me! (hehe.. just joking yah, jiaun~). Koo Fu-Yng and Lam Chee Yan, i've known them since my Form 6 days. I only got to know them better when we were housemates. And Fu-Yng my classmate. My true yumcha kakis. Especially Lam Chee Yan, my talk mate at home. We can really talk! and TALK!. And Fu-Yng, she is very bloody hardworking! It was actually her that got me nervous everytime exams were around the corner. Those were the days..and nights.. my housemates. Played, laughed, studied, ate, onlined and lived together, under one roof. 204, Block F9, Wangsa Maju.



And not forgetting, my buddies that i've kept in contact with. Yaowen, Wai Loon and Kon Wee. I've known each of them for more than 8 years, easily. Its hard to keep in contact when you're so far away from hometown. But these few sure did. These are friends that are actually your past. They are the ones that make you remember your past and where you came from. Friends that remind you not to forget old friends when you meet new ones. I really do appreciate them. Really do. I can proudly say that they are my friends.



To tell my story of my life in Wangsa Maju in a single post will be an insult. I really had a great time here. I will still tell people that Wangsa Maju was my home, where i once lived happily. Without a doubt.

Pictures From Sunway Lagoon

These were taken at Sunway Lagoon on the 13th of April 2005. Two days after my finals.




This was taken at the entrance. From left, JinWen, PeiXzan, Fu-Yng, YookHwa and Me. Eng Kien was holding the camera. SueLynn and Mei-Ee walked off to somewhere.








From left, Mei-Ee, JinWen and Me. Before getting to the rides.










Before we got wet on some ride where we came out from the mouth of a snake. Yes, that's me and PeiXzan looking stupid.








Getting ready on a ride called twisters or something like that.










A minute later. Now you understand why i forgot the name of this ride. It was bloody dizzy~

At Least Something

I guess i've left this blog to rot for quite some time. So, now i'll try my best to post something here.
It's not even one week after my exam. And its already freakin' bored here at home! After-exams are always not what you expect of it. I was planning so many things to do before this, and it turns out very differently. Lemme show you a few examples, you'll understand. This is what i planned before the exam

• Read my novels
  
• Get a haircut
  
• Sleep early
  
• Exercise daily
  

Then, this happened..

• Where the heck are those novels?
  
• My hair is still bloody long
  
• Early? I sleep around 4-5am. Quite early i would say
  
• Yeah, right...
  

See?
Darn, come to think of it, i've practically done nothing these two days. If you consider eating, sleeping and playing the com as something to do, then i've passed with flying colours. But i did went to Sunway Lagoon on Tuesday. I wouldn't say it was fun, but it was at least something, after the exam. No more psychology definitions and web page designing. The only thing i worry now is the exam results. Wonder when is it coming out? Hmm.. well, wouldn't want to think about it now. Its still holidays for me!!