mycompressedboredom

Well well...

2007-04-19T16:50:00.000+08:00

It's almost a year since i last posted here. Time sure passed me by. In this one year, SO many things happened.

More recently, i just finished my three months industrial attachment to New Straits Times Press. It was practically becoming a reporter for those 14 weeks. No doubt it was fun, it was all i've been wanting to do, but the stress was seriously burdening. It was even harder for us interns as the allowance given was 'chicken shit'. Crime reporting is certainly my forte, so to speak. The two months i was placed on Crime desk sure passed even faster. Every day was a different assignment, and you'll never get bored. Murders here, robberies there. Dead bodies are found (literally) everywhere. And its not such a big deal looking at dead bodies (plus the blood and stench). Well, i got so used to everything on the Crime desk that for a moment i thought i was done studying and already out into the working world. But then, reality came by and checked up on me. I have another year of classes and exams. *sigh*

Anyway, emotionally, it was so.. uncertain. Yeah, that should be the only word i could describe my love life for the past year. Its not the relationships that was uncertain, i guess its me who's not certain of things. I'm not decisive enough. I'm just not good in making big and major decisions. And its awfully cruel for me to do that. But what can i do? I have always been like this. Dilly-dallying, procrastinating and just taking my own sweet time. All those troubles here and there throughout these years were after effects of my attitude. Will i ever change?

Life in PJ has been fulfilling in one way or another. There were gains and there were losses. It was all experience nonetheless.

Isabella

2006-04-23T01:19:00.000+08:00

3 papers down and 2 more to go.

After next week, exams will be over. And it will be holidays! Well, truthfully, i have been in a holiday mood ever since the study week started. Don't really have the mood to study. Haha, you know me.. exam stress never really gets to me. Just study what you need to, and if you still don't know how to answer, just crap your way through. It works for me. =)

So, anyway, was kinda bored today and decided to go watch a movie. And since everybody was busy studying for the next paper, i went to MidValley alone. I booked a ticket for 7.00pm show of Gubra in the afternoon. I have been waiting for this show ever since Yasmin Ahmad mentioned it in her blog last year. This show is said to be the sequel to Sepet and i LOVED Sepet! BUT, due to some unforseen circumstances, i got to MidValley around 6.45pm, and i couldn't get the prebooked tickets for Gubra. And surprisingly, there aren't a lot of people at MidValley today. Maybe the sales season is over or maybe its just the exam period. Who cares. The main thing is, i queued up for like 10 minutes ONLY on a Saturday to buy my tickets! I realized that i have not been to the movies for quite some time, and there are tonnes of movies that i wanna watch! So, when it was my turn at the counter, i decided that i'll watch another film. I went for Isabella.

First of all, Isabella is NOT a Malay show! It is a Hong Kong movie starring Chapman To, Isabella Leong (incidentally, its the same name) and Anthony Wong.

I read a few reviews before this, and i have been wanting to watch this movie (it's not that i simply buy a ticket to a show). I was entralled by the music in the trailer and it wasn't surprising that the composer Peter Kam won the Silver Bear for Best Film Music at the 56th Berlin International Film Festival, for his work on Isabella (credits, Karazen). Chapman To showed a more serious side to his acting and it was pretty good. Isabella's acting was not bad too. The whole show was a bit draggy at times, but overall, a good show to watch when you're alone. It is some sort of a 'ngai sud pin'(artistic/literature show, something like that lar) where most of the message is sent through the acting and not the script. I won't review much of the show here, so, go watch the show! Its worth it. There's a review in the Karazen link if you really wanna know anything about the show. I have to say this again, the music score in the show is really good. It brings in the mood of the show. Overall, i would give it a 7/10. It is a Hong Kong movie afterall, can't expect much from them.

Watching a movie today really got me into the mood of watching movies. I might just go and watch another one tomorrow. Hmmm... i guess i will then. To hell with exams and studying!

~ciao

9 Months

2006-04-13T21:16:00.000+08:00

9 months.

Not a very long time, and most certainly it is not a short time.

You can do a whole lot of things in these 9 months. Let me list down the things that you can do in these not-so-long-or-short months.

1) You can run up to Kedah from KL then head back down to Johore, even then, it wouldn't take 9 months.

2) Heck, you can even swim across to Sabah and Sarawak in this period of time.

3) You can actually get to see full moons up to 9 times!

4) You can impregnate a girl and the baby will be out at the end of the 9 months.

5) OR... you can sit at home and do everything possible when you're bored and don't even bother to update your blog.

So.. you see, that's it! I've been running up and down and across Malaysia after leaving some sperms to swim around, and every single night, look up into the sky looking for the blardy full moon. At the end of my running, i head back to KL to see what had happened to one of my sperms.

And do you think that i even had a single minute to spend on blogging?

~*Ahem*~

ANYWAY, exam's next week. Couldn't really study for the past few days. The 'fear' of exams is not really in my mood yet. Yes, yet.. It will come. I know it will. At that time, i'll just do what i normally do. I'll use my 'last-minute-panicky-studying' method. HaHa (evil grin).

OKay~~ this is just a lil' post to tell everyone that this blog of mine is still ALIVE! Though there are some cobwebs around and it kinda stinks here, its still ALIVE!!

~signing off

Unexpected

2005-07-29T01:32:00.000+08:00

Today started off gloomy. I woke up feeling distraughted and tired, for no particular reason. Didn't really have the mood to speak or do anything. I just wanted to lie there and let the hours pass me. But then again, there are classes to attend and a life to live. Classes in Uni was unusually bored and tiring today. Finished classes at 4.30 p.m. and headed straight home, with an empty stomach. I didn't even have the mood to eat. Got straight to bed as soon as i reached home. And i slumbered with the initial anticipation of my mood to get better after my rest.

I awoke in a darkened stuffy room. My room. It was already late in the evening. Staggered to the table to get my phone and was surprised to find two messages waiting for me. Two messages from two unlikely friends that would message me. I went through the first and found out that the second message was the same. This is what it wrote :

eng ting had an accident near usm n she passed away on d way 2 d hosp.TIS IS NOT A JOKE! Pls forward this msg to ppl who knew her.

I sat there trying to recompose myself from what i have read. Going through the message again and again. Trying to find any loopholes indicating that this is just a joke. But to no avail. I hurriedly turned on my com and look for any friend who might just know what the heck is going on. A deep sense of foreboding and somber began to dawn upon me. Although Lim Eng Ting wasn't that close to me, she was more than an acquaintance. She was my friend.

I stumbled upon ChakHon on MSN and i asked for more details. He knew her more than me and i'm sure he would know more about what happened. He said he wasn't sure, but roughly, she was knocked down by a car or something in front of her Uni. She was on a bike. They sent her to a nearby hospital. That particular hospital lacked the equipment to do anything. So, they decided to send her to another hospital. She passed away on the way there. She's only 21 years old.

I have very few memories about her. But enough to know that she was a very jovial and friendly girl. I've had small chats many a times with her. We often teased each other whenever we meet in school during F6. I can still remember her smile. And now she's gone. Until now, i guess that everyone who knew her are still dumbstrucked by what had happened to her this afternoon. Especially her classmates in our school. Their class had that specially knitted bond between them. Their closeness in a class had all the F6 classes looking at them with envy. I really hope that everyone of 6AB will accept this as God's will. She was a friend to many and an enemy of none. She has passed on to a better place, lying upon God's lap. May she rest in peace.

Courage, it would seem, is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice, while continuing to affirm inwardly that life with all its sorrows is good; that everything is meaningful even if in a sense beyond our understanding; and that there is always tomorrow.

Dorothy Thompson

I know that this is very unexpected. Everything in life is so unexpected. Life is such an unpredictable road to be on. You will never know what is bound to happen at the next turn. Never.

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.

Gilda Radner

This particular day had me worrying about all the motorists that i know. Especially my housemates. A few of them travel around everyday on bikes. Just as i was pondering about this, i saw an accident right before my eyes. It happened while i was walking home after dinner from SS2. A motorcyclist ramped into the side of a turning car. Both of them were going for the same turn at the same time. The rider flew across the bonet and landed on the road, hard. It happened not more than 20 meters in front of me. The rider wasn't moving after the fall. So, i ran towards the fallen rider. I was the first to be there and he had that blur and confused look in his eyes. And fortunately, he could still speak. When asked which part of him hurt, he said his legs. He couldn't move them. A few people were gathered around the rider and it was causing a long queue of cars jamming the road. So, the few of us slowly carried the guy towards the side of the road. The driver of the car was a woman fetching a few of her kids. She was as scared and confused as the fallen driver. Everything happened very fast. She didn't know what to do. She was just dumbfounded and stood there. A few cars that passed by stopped and offered to fetch that guy to the hospital. Seeing that everything was okay and in safe hands. I left, also dumbfounded by what had happened.

This is to all the motorcyclists out there: Please be very careful on the road. You will never know what will happen on the next turn. Its better safe than sorry. Its the tears of your family and friends that will flow if anything happened to you. Life is precious and it is short. Tomorrow will always be a mystery. Appreciate what you have today. It might be lost forever after today.

Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed.

Corita Kent

Lim Eng Ting. I'm glad to have known her.. and i regret that i'm not that close to her. You will always be my friend and in my heart you will continue to live. I will learn to live my life as you have lived yours. And, continue on with your spirit and essence of life. Always.

Always.

A Day Out Alone

2005-07-10T13:12:00.000+08:00

It's been quite some time (again) since i last blogged. *Sigh*.. i guess my lazy bones are up around me again. I haven't even studied for these couple of days.

*Slaps on the head*!

Well, for the past week, it passed like it didn't! Maybe that's because i've not done anything fruitful. Nothing!! I was like.. "Hey, another day's gone. Don't worry, tomorrow will come". And there goes my week.

To top it all, my mid-term's next week!! I'm not even half into my books. I know nuts about Mass Comm. And E-Pub, all i know are those html codes which i can remember a bit from CPS. Html are not even in the mid-term! *sobs* I really gotta buck up for these few more days, if i really wanna get a decent result for my mid-term.

Yesterday, was in a way kinda fruitful i would say. I was suppposed to go out with Ken, JingWen and YenLi to Midvalley to buy some stuff. But then, things got a little different from the original plan. I did go to Midvalley, but i went alone. Didn't know why, i just wanted to go alone. So, i left at a different time from them, saying that i'll meet up with them there. I went to Midvalley, with the heart to walk around alone. Maybe i just wanted to try what ALONE meant. When i first arrived there, i went straight to the ATM. I was down right broke at that time. Have you ever seen a guy go to Midvalley with just RM6 in the wallet? Yup, that's me *smiles and nods*.

And talk aboout ATMs.. *dang*! Forget about the long queues, after almost 20 minutes of queuing, the ATM have to show this. "This machine is now currently out of cash. The choice (1) Withdrawal will be unavailable. Sorry for the inconvenience caused."
It was 3 something in the afternoon at that time. And i haven't even eaten my breakfast yet!! What the heck am i gonna eat with 6 bloody bucks~?? So, i had to walk all the way to Ken to get 100 bucks, which luckily he got at the moment. It felt much safer with a hundred bucks in my wallet. I guess that just the nature of things these days. You won't feel safe if you had only 1 dollar and you won't feel any safer with 10,000. Weird huh?

So, with 100 bucks, i was determined to get myself some food. Some good ones at that! But everywhere was packed, every food outlet had to queue up just to get in. In the end, i got into Sushi King. It's easier to find a place, cause i went alone. And then, i ate to my heart's content!! Which resulted in a 43 dollar bill. Yeap, i ate all 40 something dollars alone. In Sushi King! Imagine how much i ate!!

After that, i went for a movie - "War Of The Worlds". After lotsa bad comments about the show from my friends, i took the time to see it for myself. It wasn't as bad as they said, it's just that the ending was kinda abrupt. Exactly like what my cousin said about the movie, "don't expect too much from it". Luckily i didn't. Its not what i anticipated of it. Nothing near "Independence Day" (i liked that show, OK?) and it was kinda like "The Day After Tomorrow". A few of the visual effects were "wow" and the rest.. nothing much. Almost all the somethings-gotta-blow-up-the-world kinda movie got these visual effects, so its not something special. I would give it a 6/10.

After the movie, i walked around feeling the complete freedom of not rushing to somewhere else and not following anyone. I can go anywhere i want. Anytime. Though it looked kinda stupid (to me, at first) to be walking around alone, watching a movie alone and eating alone, it still felt good. And then i just realized, "Who the hell cares if you're walking around alone. You don't even think twice when you see another guy who's doing the same thing." *SMILES* - the joy of realization.

I head on back to SS2 - Murni for a drink. And i bumped into Melvin and his roommate, Xen (i'm not sure how to spell it, it's pronounced that way). We got to talking and they asked me whether i wanted to follow them to Atmos later. I had nothing to do, so.. "Yeah, why not." A friend came to pick us up at Melvin's place. And so i head on to Atmos. I gotta tell ya'll, that place was filled with babes man! A lot of them. With the capital letters, A LOT. Did nothing much in there. Was just looking around, drank a bit and admired (and envied) the way they shuffled inside. But i did go round the dance floor to move a bit. So, after loads of sweating and dancing, we headed back around 3. And i reached home around 4. Took a bath and went straight to sleep. Day's over.

Well, come to think about it, fruitful might not be the word to use for a day such as this. It was kinda money and time wasting, but, i had my fun. And i don't do this often, so its ok. *pats myself on the back* . It's OKAY~ (reassuring myself i guess).

I was alone, for most of the day. It kinda rekindles my memories of once when i was single. And i am now back to those days.. single. Its OKAY to be single. It feels free.. and alone.

*pats on the back again* Its OKAY~

1, 2, Step - Ciara ft. Missy Elliot

2005-06-24T12:16:00.000+08:00

1, 2, Step
by Ciara ft. Missy Elliot

Album: Goodies(2004)

[Intro]
Ladies & gentlemen
This is a Jazzie Phizzle
Producizzle
Missy
The princess is here.. Ciara

This beat is..
Automatic, supersonic, hypnotic, funky fresh
Work my body so melodic
This beat flows right through my chest
Everybody ma and poppy came to party
Grab somebody
Work your body, work your body
Let me see you 1,2 step

Rock it
Don't stop it
Everybody get on the floor
Wake the party up
We about to get it on
Let me see yall
1,2 step
I love it when yall
1, 2 step
Everybody
1,2 step
We about to get it on

This beat is..
Outrageous
So contagious
Make you crave it
(Jazzie made it)
So retarded
Top charted
Ever since the day I started
Strut my stuff
And yes I flaunt it
Goodies make the boys jump on it
No I can't control myself
Now let me do my 1,2 step

Rock it
Don't stop it
Everybody get on the floor
Wake the party up
We about to get it on
Let me see yall
1,2 step
I love it when yall
1, 2 step
Everybody
1,2 step
We about to get it on

[Missy]
We goin' to step it like this
oooohhhweee

I don't matter to me
We can dance slow
Whichever way the beats drop
Our bodies will go
So swing it over here, Mr. DJ
And we will.. we will rock you up (oohh)
It don't matter to me
We can dance slow (dance slow.. yeahh)
Whichever way the beats drop
Our bodies wil go
So swing over here, Mr. DJ
And we will, we will rock you
[Missy]
I shake it like jello
And make the boys say hello
Cause they know im rockin' the beat
I know you heard about a lot of great MC's
But the aint got nothing on me
Because im 5 foot 2
I wanna dance with you
And im sophisticated fun
I eat filet mignon
And i'm nice and young
Best believe im number one
Rock it
Don't stop it
Everybody get on the floor
Wake the party up
We about to get it on
Let me see yall
1,2 step
I love it when yall
1, 2 step
Everybody
1,2 step
We about to get it on
Rock it
Don't stop it
Everybody get on the floor
Wake the party up
We about to get it on
Let me see yall
1,2 step
I love it when yall
1, 2 step
Everybody
1,2 step
We about to get it on

Click play to listen to 1, 2, Step by Ciara

*wait for the song to load first. some pauses may occur during the song.

Lousy Posts

2005-06-22T02:01:00.000+08:00

Hey, i'm really sorry for the last two posts. It just kinda turned my blog into a dark dark place. My friends in college said it was downright scary! Hmm.. is it? Just a lil bit i guess.

Uni has been dreadful these few days. Late nights and early mornings sure got to me. My eyes bags are already drooping down my cheeks. And in no time, i will look like a freak show! But thank God for housemates! Cause everyone in my house seems to be in the same freakin' condition as i am. Those bloody assignments are getting to everyone. And more are coming. I wonder how everyone will cope. Things sure are different nowadays. No more procrastinations. No more chit-chatting. Work, work and WORK!!

On another note, i saw something interesting this morning. I was late for class (as usual), so i hurriedly walked out from my house to the bus stop. Along the way, i passed a small playground, and i saw something that actually stopped me in my tracks. An old lady, should be in her late 60s, she was standing next to a swing, exercising. The kinda exercise old folks normally do in the morning, hands swinging. And on the swing, there was a 1-2 year old child, just sitting there, with a big laugh on his face. The lady whom i reckoned is his granny, pushes the swing from time to time while exercising. And all the while, making faces at the child. The child's laughter could be heard all around. No one else around.. just the two of them. The world seems like nothing to them, while they laugh away their time. Enjoying the light breeze of wind on a Tuesday morning. Just the two of them. An elderly granny, a child still new to this world and nothing else between or around them. And I, a stranger to them, walks pass. The ironic thing is, as normal as the scene may seem, one look of it, it got me thinking of my granny. And how fast i've grown up. How time just seems to seep by silently. After i walked passed them, i started regretting not being able to get a shot of that lil' scene with a camera or something.

But i guess for such a moment, a camera just ain't enough. To put it in my heart.

Sometimes.. Somethings In Life

2005-06-08T23:17:00.000+08:00

Sometimes.. somethings in life will just hit you right in the face. Things you never thought will throw a punch this hard. The blow will just leave you wondering. "What happened?". Well, that's what just happened. It got to me while i was just wondering how good things will turn out in days to come. I guess i just didn't expected this to happen to me. Not at this time. Not now. But it seems that i just can't avoid that punch. It was meant to hurt. And it really did a good job in injuring me, especially when my guard was down.

"Expecting the world to treat you fairly
because you are a good person
is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you
because you are a vegetarian."

-Dennis Wholey-

Well, it does ring some truth.. doesn't it? Most of us have gone through it, expectations being crush into smithereens. But why do we always still expect? A friend once told me that expectations are what keeps us going everyday. The motivation of life. Without a goal, there's no soul. There's no meaning to life. If we get knocked down, we get up again. And then we expect again. Its just a vicious circle. Isn't it?

But the truth is, each and everytime we get knocked down, we always keep our expectations lower than the previous one. Maybe we don't realize it, but we do that unconciously. Who likes to feel the pain of getting dissapointed?

This time i'm down. But i'm coming up. I'll be standing and start looking at the stars once again. Looking high up and start to dream once again. Ignoring the question that bangs into my head every single time i dream. "When will i fall again?". Ignorance is bliss. I will be standing.. soon.

For the time being, just let me lie down for a little while more. I need the rest. Its hard being knocked out twice in such a short time. Just let me be on the floor.. for now.

Sir Walter Raleigh

2005-06-04T01:27:00.000+08:00

LIFE

What is our life? A play of passion,
Our mirth the music of division,
Our mother's wombs the tiring-houses be,
Where we are dressed for this short comedy.
Heaven the judicious sharp spectator is,
That sits and marks still who doth act amiss.
Our graves that hide us from the setting sun
Are like drawn curtains when the play is done.
Thus march we, playing, to our latest rest,
Only we die in earnest, that's no jest.

I sorta bumped into this poem. A rather sad and depressed one. I guess it just matches what i've been feeling these few days. Its been kinda rough these few days. Sometimes its just more than i can take. But what else can i do but to face it head on? It was all my fault. I dare not say it wasn't mine. I couldn't. It was all ME. It is kinda hard, when you're in this misery, and you still have to keep a straight face. The pain inside is so unreal. No thousand needles poking my heart. No breathing difficulties. No nothing. It is almost like cancer. It strikes unknowingly. Slowly killing and tormenting. But not showing. This is what it is.

When you're in such a somber mood, you get to think about a lot of things you often seem to miss out. Things such as how real loneliness actually feels, how hard it is to force a smile, how slow i seem to walk sometimes, how beautiful a half crescent moon looks like in the middle of the night and how torturous it can be when you're stuck in a chirpy and happy chat with friends. Everything spells L-I-F-E. This is what life is. Just like what the poem states.. a short comedy.

Are you in one? I am.

A New Lease Of Life.. Good? Hardly..

2005-06-01T12:06:00.000+08:00

It's been weeks since i last blogged. Everyone has been bugging me to blog. Well, i've been pretty busy since the new sem started. Running around.. getting things done, buying stuff and spending loads of money!! But i think that's something i can't avoid. I'm staying in freakin' PJ! And this is a whole lot different from Wangsa Maju. If i were to compare prices, WM would've been Perak in a football game against Chelsea. Yes, that's the bloody difference. Spending money is just a way of life here.. its the trend. And sadly, i'm not keeping up. But thanks to a caring and lovely soul (Su Chien), she got a weekend job for me at Burberry, where she worked since last sem. Hmm.. actually, i got the job just because she wanted someone to accompany her home after work every weekend. But, what the hell, i got a job! Though the wage is kinda low (Rm5 an hour), its still way better than staying at home for the weekend.

The first two weeks of uni is just plain bored. Just the usual stuff.. registration, walk around campus, speeches, introduction to subjects.. and that sort. Luckily my anticipation towards entering uni wasn't high, if not, i would've been devastated. The orientation week was more of a hassle to everyone than an expectation of fun and games. Well, there goes my first and last uni orientation. Another thing about my uni is.. its very small and cramped! It's more like a tuition centre than a Uni. Its just one block of building which is a few storeys high. But, at least i got an assuring word from my dad a few days ago. He called a friend of his who is working as a lecturer(in Taylor's i think) and asked about the accreditation of the degree in UTAR, and he said that the standard of UTAR is one of the best in the country. Adding that UTAR are comparable to the likes of USM and UM. I don't know how true those words are.. but at least it got me some assurance. Heck, i don't have any other choice now, do i?

I forgot to mention the fact that i have been sick for the past few days. The fever has been coming and going quite randomly. The same thing happened when i first moved into Wangsa Maju. So, i guess this is something i'm quite prone to.. getting sick in a new place. Hope i'll recover before the weekend. If not, i'll suffer while working this weekend. Though there's not much work, but its the 10 hours of standing thats been killing me. So, everyone reading this.. please pray that i recuperate before this Sat!! thanx!!

Hmm.. guess this is all i'll tell for the time being. Can't think of anything to write. Hey, wait.. i just remembered, i haven't had my dinner yet.. dang..

Lonely - Akon

2005-05-10T11:59:00.000+08:00

Lonely
by Akon

Album : Trouble (2004)

Lonely I'm Mr Lonely,
I have nobody,
For my owwnnn
I'm so lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely
I have nobody,
For my owwnnn
I'm so lonely,

Yo this one here goes out to all my playas out there ya kno got that one good girl whose always been there like ya
Kno took all the bullshit then one day she cant take it no more and decides to leave

I woke up in the middle of the night and I noticed my girl wasn't by my side, coulda sworn I was dreamin, for her I was
Feenin, so I hadda take a little ride, back tracking ova these few years, tryna figure out wat I do to make it go bad, cuz
Ever since my girl left me, my whole life came crashin

I'm so lonely (so lonely),
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl

Cant belive I hadda girl like you and I just let you walk right outta my life, after all I put u thru u still stuck
Around and stayed by my side, what really hurt me is I broke ur heart, baby you were a good girl and I had no right, I
Really wanna make things right, cuz without u in my life girl

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody to call my own)
To call my own (to call my own) girl

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl

Been all about the world ain't neva met a girl that can take the things that you been through
Never thought the day would come where you would get up and run and I would be out chasing u
Cuz aint nowhere in the globe id rather be, aint noone in the globe id rather see then the girl of my dreams that made me
Be so happy but now so lonely

So lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own)

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girrll

Never thought that id be alone, I didnt hope you'd be gone this long, I jus want u to call my phone, so stop playing girl and
Come on home (come on home), baby girl I didn't mean to shout, I want me and you to work it out, I never wished Id ever
Hurt my baby, and its drivin me crazy cuz...

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own)

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girll

Lonely, so lonely
So lonely, (so lonely),
Mr. Lonely, so lonely
So lonely, so lonely, (so lonely), Mr. Lonely

Click play to listen to Lonely by Akon

*wait for the song to load first. some pauses may occur during the song.

Chelsea.. Lost..

2005-05-04T16:44:00.000+08:00

It was a night filled with anticipation and great expectations. I had to stay up till the wee hours of the night. The match started at 2.45 a.m in the morning. It was Liverpool versus Chelsea at Anfield. The second leg semifinal of the European Champions League 04/05. The first leg at Stamford Bridge brought both sides a draw. The second leg was as expected, a one-goal winner. The side that scores first will most probably win the game. And truly, Liverpool got the game in their pocket in just 4 minutes after kickoff. A mere mistake by Petr Cech, who came forward a tad early to stop Milan Baros, which the latter calmly chipped the ball up into the air. It almost cost Cech a red card as he failed to touch the ball, but the referee smartly gave an advantage to Liverpool. Luis Garcia finished it up after the Baros chip. He slightly nudged it into the gaping goal mouth. Carvalho and Gallas were just a step too late. And there you go, the goal that smashed Chelsea's treble dreams into smithereens, in explicit detail. It was more of a fumbling goal than a match winning goal. But still, it was a goal that mattered much.

The rest of the game was much of a blur. The fourth minute goal was quite a big blow to the Premier League champions. Chelsea fans had much faith in their team, believing that they will come back and win the game. Don't they always do? But not this time, Rafeal Benitez proved this time around that he was a better tactician than Jose Mourinho. The Reds defended their keeper like this was the last game in their entire life. The ball hardly reached Dudek's glove. Most of the play was in midfield with Chelsea controlling much of the possession. But without Duff and both fullbacks out from injury, Chelsea lacked the penetration. Arjen Robben came in too late. He was subsituted in for Joe Cole. He proved to be a threat to Liverpool. His introduction to the game in the 68th minute gave Chelsea a new life in terms of crossings. Since he came on, a few of his crosses actually gave half chances to the team. The only mistake Mourinho made was that he didn't put Robben in for the start of the second half. Things would've been a lot more different.

Throughout the whole match, credits must be given to the undying fighting spirit of the Liverpool team. And especially Jamie Carragher and Sami Hyypia. Both of them showed a superb display of defending the keeper and the goal. The night proved to be Liverpool's night. Liverpool will be heading to Istanbul on the 25th of May, with great anticipation. Their last European Cup final was over 20 years ago. Maybe it was Liverpool's time to go back to those days. Or.. maybe it was just time for Chelsea to share some of the goodies. For a Chelsea fan (ME!!), it was utterly disappointing. For English football fans, at least this season, there's an English team in a European Cup final.

Alfred, Lord Tennyson (1809 - 1892)

2005-04-26T13:10:00.000+08:00

Tears, Idle Tears

Tears, idle tears, I know not what they mean,
Tears from the depth of some divine despair
Rise in the heart, and gather to the eyes,
In looking on the happy Autumn-fields,
And thinking of the days that are no more.

Fresh as the first beam glittering on a sail,
That brings our friends up from the underworld,
Sad as the last which reddens over one
That sinks with all we love below the verge;
So sad, so fresh, the days that are no more.

Ah, sad and strange as in dark summer dawns
The earliest pipe of half-awakened birds
To dying ears, when unto dying eyes
The casement slowly grows a glimmering square;
So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.

Dear as remembered kisses after death,
And sweet as those by hopeless fance feigned
On lips that are for others; deep as love,
Deep as first love, and wild with all regret;
O Death in Life, the days that are no more!

Paul Laurence Dunbar (1872 - 1906)

2005-04-26T12:26:00.000+08:00

We Wear The Mask

We wear the mask that grins and lies,

It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes—

This debt we pay to human guile;

With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,

And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be over-wise,

In counting all our tears and sighs?

Nay, let them only see us, while

We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries

To thee from tortured souls arise.

We sing, but oh the clay is vile

Beneath our feet, and long the mile;

But let the world dream otherwise,

We wear the mask!

Fighting A Battle

2005-04-18T22:29:00.000+08:00

I should've seen this coming. It was there at the back of my mind. I was just too careless to care. Finally, it came today. My antibodies lost the battle to keep the flu virus away. I woke up today with a fever. The world literally spun on me. I was so dizzy i couldn't even stand straight. Or maybe at that time i was a lil' hungry. Both hands were already at 12 when i woke up. I was alone at home, sick and hungry. Who do i call? Eng Kien!! And indeed, being the kind-hearted person he is, he replied to my call of desperation. He brought me some buns and some panadol. The panadols really did some miraculous healing on me. After that, i started to pack and headed back to Ipoh. It was a sudden decision. I was thinking of coming back tomorrow, but after a few words of persuasion from my dad, i decided to come back today. It really is a relief to be back here. No pressure.. and most importantly, no more late nights cause there's nothing much to do here. Btw, SueLynn and gang will be coming to Ipoh tomorrow! Me and Fu-Yng gotta think of where to bring them to. But i reckon most of the places we bring them to will be eateries. Ipoh will not be called Ipoh if not for the food. So, gotta go sleep now. Tomorrow will be a long day. Furthermore, i'm still in a battle within myself. I can't be giving the advantage of sleeping late to my enemies. Die! ..you.. FLU you!

A Last Look At My Home - 204, Block F9

2005-04-18T01:33:00.000+08:00

These were taken on the 17th of April, 2005. With Goo Lai Khuan's digi camera. This is a last look at my home here in Wangsa Maju. It is a flat on the first floor of a 5-storey high building. Its kinda messy, cause i haven't started on my packing yet. Will be doing it tomorrow! ^_^

As seen from the entrance. Sofa was given by our beloved neighbour, Mr. Leong. YookHwa's stuff are still around. Lam Chee Yan's new roommate's stuff are here too. On the right corner.

This is the so-called kitchen. The bathroom is on the left (couldn't see from the pic). The cabinet on the right is JiAun's. Then the basin with a spoilt pipe.

This is the small lil' pathway that we call balcony. I'm not even sure whether this can be passed as a balcony. But, what the hell.

The living room as seen from the kitchen. The TV is Fu-Yng's. Shoes are all scattered around below next to the sofa.

This is the girls' room. Fu-Yng and Lam Chee Yan's room. No bed, just matresses. That is Goo Lai Khuan lying there. Not Sarah! Oh yeah, sorry for exposing your room like this. Haha~ you wouldn't mind, will ya?

This is my corner. My computer table takes up most of the space. I have tonnes of stuff thrown around.

This is the other corner of my room. That's my roommate JiAun with his laptop. Yes, JiAun is the only one in the flat that has a bed.

Well, that's all i can show from my place here. Its not big, it doesn't have enough rooms, it stinks - the dumpster is just behind the balcony, and its messy. But, it is still my home. Well, that is until end of this month.

204, Block F9, Wangsa Maju

2005-04-17T23:31:00.000+08:00

Its almost that time of the year. The time that i didn't expect to come so soon. Everything passed by even before i blinked my eyes. Its almost May. I've been a citizen of Wangsa Maju for a year already. A lot of things happened here. Good and bad, happy and sad. Been through disappointment, regret, frustration, anger.. and laughed at myself at the end of the day. Made friends more than enemies throughout the year (great achievement!!). Started to grow some affection for this lil' place called Wangsa Maju. Each and every corner of it brings back memories of things i've done and friends that i've made.

The first month in Wangsa Maju, i got to know a great friend, Chan Yi Wan. She was the one who actually took the time to bring us around. Show us the place where she called home two years earlier than us. She and her buddy, simply called "Motor", took us from home-BRJ-Desa-home. But sadly, "Motor" got stolen a month or two before she left for the States. After her, then came my collegemates. They were the ones that actually got me through college. Assignments, tutorials, lectures, outings, stay-overs and just plain onlining. A bunch of girls and two guys in a class. It sure was something. Something for me remember and cherish.

And then my housemates. Tammy Koo Fu-Yng, Lam Chee Yan and my roommate, Tan Ji Aun. I wouldn't say that they were the best housemates one can get. I have no one else to compare. But me staying together with them, was something i have no regrets for. I got to know Ji Aun only through Fu-Yng, and now, a year has passed. Though we don't talk much, i'm glad that he was my roommate. He didn't complained a word of my cleanliness (i would've complained the hell out of myself!!). He was considerate. He accompanied me through football nights. And he haven't introduced his girlfriend to me! (hehe.. just joking yah, jiaun~). Koo Fu-Yng and Lam Chee Yan, i've known them since my Form 6 days. I only got to know them better when we were housemates. And Fu-Yng my classmate. My true yumcha kakis. Especially Lam Chee Yan, my talk mate at home. We can really talk! and TALK!. And Fu-Yng, she is ~~very~~ bloody hardworking! It was actually her that got me nervous everytime exams were around the corner. Those were the days..and nights.. my housemates. Played, laughed, studied, ate, onlined and lived together, under one roof. 204, Block F9, Wangsa Maju.

And not forgetting, my buddies that i've kept in contact with. Yaowen, Wai Loon and Kon Wee. I've known each of them for more than 8 years, easily. Its hard to keep in contact when you're so far away from hometown. But these few sure did. These are friends that are actually your past. They are the ones that make you remember your past and where you came from. Friends that remind you not to forget old friends when you meet new ones. I really do appreciate them. Really do. I can proudly say that they are my friends.

To tell my story of my life in Wangsa Maju in a single post will be an insult. I really had a great time here. I will still tell people that Wangsa Maju was my home, where i once lived happily. Without a doubt.

Pictures From Sunway Lagoon

2005-04-16T00:30:00.000+08:00

These were taken at Sunway Lagoon on the 13th of April 2005. Two days after my finals.

This was taken at the entrance. From left, JinWen, PeiXzan, Fu-Yng, YookHwa and Me. Eng Kien was holding the camera. SueLynn and Mei-Ee walked off to somewhere.

From left, Mei-Ee, JinWen and Me. Before getting to the rides.

Before we got wet on some ride where we came out from the mouth of a snake. Yes, that's me and PeiXzan looking stupid.

Getting ready on a ride called twisters or something like that.

A minute later. Now you understand why i forgot the name of this ride. It was bloody dizzy~

At Least Something

2005-04-15T20:19:00.000+08:00

I guess i've left this blog to rot for quite some time. So, now i'll try my best to post something here.
It's not even one week after my exam. And its already freakin' bored here at home! After-exams are always not what you expect of it. I was planning so many things to do before this, and it turns out very differently. Lemme show you a few examples, you'll understand. This is what i planned before the exam

Read my novels
Get a haircut
Sleep early
Exercise daily

Then, this happened..

Where the heck are those novels?
My hair is still bloody long
Early? I sleep around 4-5am. Quite early i would say
Yeah, right...

See?
Darn, come to think of it, i've practically done nothing these two days. If you consider eating, sleeping and playing the com as something to do, then i've passed with flying colours. But i did went to Sunway Lagoon on Tuesday. I wouldn't say it was fun, but it was at least something, after the exam. No more psychology definitions and web page designing. The only thing i worry now is the exam results. Wonder when is it coming out? Hmm.. well, wouldn't want to think about it now. Its still holidays for me!!